Billy is sick again. BSCC cancer was found in my lung in late July 2013, removed in August 2013, and just today I got word that they found cancer about one inch from where they found it in 2011.
Rather than reactivate BillyisSick, you may as well learn something about me. So visit me at my regular blog where I have a name: William David Golden, aka “Billy”.
All is good.
This afternoon I got to see my voicebox in action with a camera stuck down my throat as I said “AAAAEEEHHHH, gag, gag”. There was some concern over the last month or so that I had some serious issues in my throat but that has cleared — whatever the hell it was. I couldn’t say 10 words at a time for almost five or six weeks and had a constant dry cough with a slight pain under my left collar bone. There was even some concern that it was esophageal C. It appears to have been a very strange reaction to allergens or something — and was finally fixed with Allegra. Almost six weeks of whatever went away with just three 12 hour capsules. Hooray for mysteries.
ANYWAY – I have passed all of my tests so far … a few remain just to be absolutely sure: some liver function tests and a PET scan and a trip to neurosurgery.
Neurosurgery: I had an MRA scan and my cancer specialist doctor had no idea how to interpret the results … but guesses that there are no real problems since the MRA folks didn’t redflag it. Going to neurosurgery is just precautionary: my doc wants them to read the results and to explain them.
Have decided to decommission the blog.
I started the blog with anticipation that I did not have much time left back in spring of 2011. My hope was that I would meet some fellow travellers and that I could learn more about what is considered a miserable way to end life — from the start I signed up to be medically tracked for the rest of my life to contribute to understanding this cancer. It comes back. Always. Almost always.
Along the way I have met a number of folks diagnosed with either SNUC or BSCC cancer. And the truth is that I feel guilty. I feel guilty that so many did not make it. Actually, I’ve lost contact with all of them.
I feel guilty that I never really experienced anything other than some major annoyances. I feel guilty that am happy that the future looks good. I have no explanation for why I feel guilty but I do.
Along the way I also learned something about the American health care system: if you do not have good insurance then you die. I am one of those folks that have had a ‘preexisting condition’ (a fatty liver) since 1995. This has affected my life in many ways. Ever see those insurance commercials that say you can get $500,000 of term life insurance for just $40, $50 or $60 a month? Because of my preexisting condition my monthly premium for life insurance to make sure my family is taken care of costs $345/month … and I’ve been paying it a long time now. (Dear God, when I turn 69 and 11 months that is when you need to call me home. There is no payout if I reach 70).
Until I got cancer in 2011 I had been an incredibly healthy, active person. Just imagine if I had to buy medical insurance as an individual. It would be cheaper for my family if … rather than ruin the family.
However, my medical care is relatively free and I am cheered to say that fate allowed me to retire from the military. That retirement gave me medical care as a lifelong benefit. In my search for fellow travellers I’ve run across two individuals that couldn’t get the care needed unless they prepaid a ton of money to cover the cost of their treatment. They had no health insurance. They died. They may well have passed anyway but …
Anyway, another goal in starting the blog was to keep some of my closer friends and associates up to date on what I thought would be a short trip.
Life is good. My life appears to be cancer-free and now I am going to focus on other things.
Wishing the best to all of you. And thank you for joining me on my journey.
Apologies for the rant.
Bill G.
I had almost forgotten about last week being my two year anniversary since my cancer surgery.
Thank you to those that sent well wishes.
Life is going very, very well. I have an MRA scan next week and then I will undergo a PET scan in June to look for cancer that may be possibly hiding somewhere, anywhere in my body. If there is any bad stuff then the PET scan should find it.
We should have a party in May 2014. That will be my third year and three years without a recurrence is an eternity of good luck. Am an Optimist.
Had another checkup today. All is good. There are no signs of bad anywhere.
May 2013 will be the two year anniversary of my surgery. Will take a PET scan in early June 2013 to look and see what the radiation can see. So far I have beat the odds.
The odds of recurrence become very challenging in Year Three. My doctor’s outlook is that I will beat the odds — but we will continue with regular checkups to make sure that any bad gets found early.
Clouds by Zach Sobiech
I am personally grateful for all the good that has happened in my life. Things continue to look bright. I’ve passed the first major milestone of being a cancer survivor by making it past 17 months (Oct 2012), the average point at which my kind of cancer recurs … my next milestone is the three year mark, only a handful have made it that far.
Life is good! There is no sign of cancer or ill effects in my life at this time.
In this video by Zach Sobiech, Zach has faced many challenges in his fight against cancer. It appears that Zach’s time has run out. We can dread death or welcome it. It is what it is. It is inevitable. By not fighting it we are also embracing life … living life without fear. Living life with good cheer.
November 2nd was yet another checkup. And now another checkup has passed without any signs of recurrence.
My only problem seems to be a bit of extra weight. October was an important month for me: it was the average timepoint at which my cancer recurs. October has been on my mind since late summer — and I’ve probably eaten everything within sight if I could get my hands on it. Mentally I guess that I slipped into a ‘if bad news happens then let it be with chocolate, beer and pretzels on my breath’.
No bad news. That’s good news. Now I need to go back to healthy eating … so that I don’t survive cancer but die of a heartattack.
My regular checkups will continue through May 2013 and then I should go to every six months. Yahoo!
October 3rd, 2012 will forever be one of my favorite days.
Yes, it is just another day on the calendar, with different meanings for different folks.
For me, it marks the ‘average recurrence point’ at which my cancer has not returned. I am now poised to live forever … or until I die … and this one episode is hopefully just a memory in my rear view mirror.
The math of it all is a bit challenging. The prognosis remains that doctors believe they removed my cancer back on May 4th, 2011 and that the margin of error favors me.
Am still on regular checkups, although every 60 days now. Am still within the recurrence danger zone. To get beyond the ‘average recurrence point’ … my doctor — a very fine ENT by the name of Dr. Ester Kim, Walter Reed — says that two years will be the point at which we go to annual checkups.
All continues to look good!
October 3, 2012 is my 17 month mark. The general guideline in cancer is to make it past 5 years. That too is a goal but 5 years is an eternity for those that have met BSCC cancer.
Today was my 15 month checkup. All test results came back negative.
My dietary regimen may also be paying dividends as my Liver Function Test (LFT) results have never been better. Both my ALT and AST are in their mid-20s, whereas they were in the low 40s previously. Each day I eat several raw red beets and almost a pound of raw papaya as well as eating many of the papaya seeds. // A side effect is that my urine is often deep red; the red beet juice is like a natural dye.
WARNING: Eating the papaya seeds is controversial. They contain a mild toxin. This appears to be of more concern to women than to men; the seeds may act as a form of contraception in women and has been known to decrease sperm count in monkeys. I’ve had my kids and am waiting on grandkids so my level of concern is somewhat less than it may be for others — so any monkeying around for me is OK.
Am now on a checkup schedule of every three months.
The year ahead will be an important one to get through as the BSCC cancer has an extremely high recurrence rate during year two. Will be taking a chest xray, colonoscopy, and an MRI over the next few weeks to look for any outlier areas that the cancer may be hiding in. NONE are the expectation. There is no reason to believe that the cancer ever had the chance to spread but BSCC is a sneaky cancer; the recurrence rate is in the high 90 percent area and about 40 percent of recurrences are in different areas of the body from the original occurrence.
Life is good! Life has been good! Life is looking good.
Am feeling good. Am active. Have been travelling and getting out. This weekend will be the fourth game of the soccer season and my 12th year as a coach.
Life is good.
Friday, April 13th, was to be my big one year checkup. My doctor decided to take a number of biopsies, instead of taking all the tests that were scheduled — will now take them later in May.
There has been a strange growth that we have been watching since January 2012. It is exactly where my cancer was before. Since the inside of my head had some slicing/dicing/renovation work done back on May 4th, 2011, then ‘normal’ and ‘appears strange’ is all relative.
Anyway, my doctor called this morning with good news: all biopsy tests came back negative. Year One of my new life has been good to me.
I now have a full collection of MRI and PET scan imagery for my diagnostics.
It is amazing how they can take imagery of your body in slices as they look for the bad stuff.
These images of me are almost a year old now (2011.04.19).
All things considered: life is good. Very good.
During EVERY checkup I have the pleasure of a camera that runs up through both sides of my nose. Those little excursions into the depths of my mind also get photographed in full color. Haven’t been able to get copies of those — but the cameras provided early warning confirmation of suspicious activity during my 2012.03.19 checkup.
The video cameras — on glassfibre cable — allow the doctors to record what they are seeing as they drive around. It feels as if the end of the cable has little pincers that are able to push open areas where they want to go. It is a strange sensation — but no pain or real discomfort — to have these little cinematic travelers investigating the dark side of your mind.
MRI Side-looking scan 2011.04.19 - all looks in order.
MRI Topdown-looking scan 2011.04.19 - no problems. Note the smoothness of that brain!
MRI front-looking scan - 2011.04.19 - internal to my nose and above my right eye there are very easy to see differences. I am no longer symmetrical.
!! Found. The bad thing sits just below my brain. MRI internal scan beneath my brain - 2011.04.19
Billy is sick 